Carey

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If I can do this, so can you! and never let anyone dull your sparkle.

Carey in red bra and knickers, corset and hold-up stocking, with black wings raise to the sky.

I’ve never been comfortable with my body. I’ve never been comfortable with myself.

I always feel embarrassed. I’m an introvert and, I suppose, shy. But I’ve found ways to force myself through that, while internally I’m screaming. I’m not entirely sure I always come across well because of this.

You see the never-ending cycle of doubt?

From a physical perspective this has never changed as I’ve got older. I find I look back and wonder what on earth I was worried about 20 + years ago, as I think many of us do.

Carey in red bra and knickers, corset and hold-up stocking, with black wings.
Carey in red bra and knickers, corset and hold-up stocking, with black wings.

I’m well aware of my body privileges, but it doesn’t take away the internal criticism when you feel you don’t match the media images that we’re bombarded with, particularly in the era of the supermodel then, and the insta influencer now. When you’re looking for a reason to be worthy, and the physical becomes the thing you pin that on, because you don’t believe you have anything else to offer.

Confession time. I’ve recently come to think I’m demi-sexual. Meaning the dreaded sex just doesn’t (always) sit with me the same as others, which may be why I’ve so often felt shame about my body. Bodies are so often sexualised that I think I have felt divorced from my own, even in more “intimate” situations. I’m still working this out.

So, why on earth Burlesque?

Carey, naked but for sparkling shoes and black wings raised to the sky.

Well, I’d taken a few knocks and wanted something to make me feel better, a challenge, something out of my comfort zone, something to rebuild myself and maybe help give me some confidence. It seemed like a good idea from my cold and lonely January sofa.

And it was. It was possibly the best idea I’ve ever had.

Carey, naked but for sparkling shoes and black wings raised to the sky.

This is not to say that after years of getting nearly naked on stage that we don’t ALL have our insecurities. I know I do. The back fat above the corset, the knicker pinch, the ever-present cellulite which no scrubbing will ever make go away. The list could be near endless.

Carey, naked but for sparkling shoes and black wings raised to the sky.

But – I never see these perceived faults in others. I see gorgeous, beautiful people. I feel support and love from my friends in this community, and through their eyes I see myself differently, when I let myself. We are so much more than the perceived faults we see in our mirror, and through the vulnerable position we put ourselves in we go past the physical. Burlesque is so much more than chucking your bra at someone. Although that is pretty great.

Further still, at some point, we realise that although we are doing this for ourselves, we are also doing it for others. By strutting our sexy sassy stuff, we empower not just ourselves, but others. Just as we were once inspired by someone being their fabulous selves, we can be that person for someone else. Then, they can be that for another, and so on. An infinity mirror of sassy support. Perceived faults and all.

Carey, naked but for sparkling shoes and black wings raised to the sky.

If I can do this, so can you! and never let anyone dull your sparkle.

Carey’s offering – “a gift from my sister, following and during the rough patch I’ve mentioned. I think she intended it to have some significance, but I don’t know if she knows how much of a mantra it has become for me.”

Carey's offering to the project, a bright copper coloured bracelet with words engraved saying "Never let anyone dull your sparkle".

Join in by contacting me via my contacts page.