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[It is vital to the project that the participants are happy with how they are represented as there are some essential requirements. These include the participants having control over what is shown and, that the whole process is positive and supportive. Phoebe let me know that she has become increasingly concerned with the need to deal with unwanted behaviours and expectations from others. As a result, we have agreed to change some of the images that were included previously. I am pleased that Phoebe is still so supportive of the project. I wish that no-one, and younger women in particular, feel it is necessary to change their behaviours because of the views and actions of others. The intersections between ageism and the forms of abusive behaviour that flourish in a patriarchal society are all very much within the scope of this project – those are wider societal matters; but really, men, just wake up and stop behaving in crap ways towards women.]
25 felt like I was seeing my growth come to fruition.
I am putting myself through therapy and started making decisions for my health, such as giving up alcohol, that are uncharacteristic of an age so often filled with hedonism.
A number cannot accurately define a person’s interests or physical abilities. Past trauma has caused me to develop body dysmorphia which is a daily battle I face. Sometimes it can mean that I don’t leave the house at all.
Surrounding myself with positive people in my personal life and social media streams who embrace the natural human form in all its a-symmetrical, squishiness is a big reason why I am so accepting of my body as it is.
I also find solace in making regular connections with mother nature, such as sea swimming.
It helps me to contextualise my place in the world and understand that this is the only body I’m ever going to have, through which I get to experience overwhelming joy and bittersweet sadness. A true privilege. I’m kinder to myself because of it.
A difficult childhood has also meant that I had to grow up faster. People have always assumed I am older than my years because of this. I felt I had to maintain this image people had of me because they seemed impressed, like it was a good thing that I never got to be a child or experience the innocence that comes with that stage of life.
I took on other people’s needs when they weren’t my responsibility. I cared for people who should have been caring for me. At 25 I’m learning to recapture that innocence and play. To desexualise my body when there’s no need for it. Be silly, it’s good for the soul.
Tattoos have become a way for me to celebrate my human form. I began getting tattoos with the idea that I could eventually cover up my entire body that I didn’t like so me and other people didn’t have to see it.
But now I use them to accentuate my shape. I feel like my body was made to be decorated. I’m excited to get older because aging is an opportunity to know myself better.
To love harder, to be sillier, to choose kindness.
Phoebe’s Offering – Bali mask
Living in a largely placid society where it is easier to conform than break convention even at our own detriment, I have always been attracted to extreme expressions of emotion, the obscure, the unusual.
Join in by contacting me via my contacts page.
Phil Pool - Art and Protest 